The importance of a bedtime routine…
Not much is consistent when you have children. Life is wild, chaotic and the concept of time doesn’t exist. But research has shown that consistency, especially with bedtime routines is associated with better sleep outcomes, and this includes earlier bedtime, shorter sleep onset latency (the time it takes you to fall asleep), reduced night wakes and increased duration of sleep. And who doesn’t want all of that?! Achieving consistency in the bedtime routine is in theory fairly simple. It means doing the same things, in the same order, every single night. The result being that your little one will know what to expect (and therefore less tantrums associated with the element of surprise), and they will know that the end of the routine means that they are in bed and going to sleep. Easy right?! It only takes a few days for a habit to form so if you’re not already doing this then START NOW. Keeping healthy habits now will make things so much easier for them as they get older.
In our household the bedtime routine has been adapted over the years as our children have grown older. For example, bath time used to be relaxing, and now its wild! So, we’ve moved that to earlier in the evening to suppress the adrenalin rush before bedtime. We have a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old which means that they tend to go to bed at a similar time, but it also means that when they’re together, they associate it with play, and the last thing on their mind is sleep. So as best we can we split them up for parts of the bedtime. We do bath time together, and then Molly (the eldest) gets sent to her bedroom to listen to her Yoto and put on her pyjamas. In the meantime, we take Eddie to his bedroom where the lights are low, the white noise is on, and we moisturise (he likes a good back rub) and then a quick story before bed. It sounds simple, and most often it is, but he does like to stall with water requests, trips to the loo and a good old chinwag.
When Eddie is settled and in bed it’s time for school reading for Molly (a necessary chore!). When that’s done its lights out, except for a night light because she’s a little fearful of the dark, white noise on, kiss goodnight and then out the room.
Sometimes, if we’re feeling brave, we do a story with both kids in Molly’s bed. This isn’t so relaxing with Eddie who considers Molly’s bed to be a bouncy castle. And on Fridays and Saturdays we allow the kids to have ‘movie night’ before bed. Now, before you say it, we know this goes against ALL our advice on screen time before bed, but as they have grown into good sleepers this is less of a concern and this has become a really enjoyable weekend family activity. If you have a child who is struggling to sleep then we recommend eliminating all possible reasons that they won’t sleep, and this does indeed include stopping screen time before bed. We also recommend not introducing variations (like movie night or joint story) until you have successfully implemented a routine and sleep is improved.
So here are our top tips for a successful bedtime routine and hopefully some undisturbed night-time sleep:
Keep routines short and sweet, not more than 30 minutes from beginning to end. This should be not more than 15 minutes for newborns. Prolonging the routine can delay bedtime and makes it harder to implement on days when you’re short on time. A long routine can also mean kids get distracted and lose interest.
Choose 3 or 4 activities and do them in the same order every night. Activities could include feeding, bath, nappy change, reading a book, singing a lullaby, massage, cuddling, pyjamas on, into sleeping bag, talking quietly about their day.
Listen to you child or let them help build the routine (if older). If something isn’t working, then switch it around.
Keep it up during the day. Following a routine during the day, including setting clear limits, sets children up for a better sleep at night.
What does your bedroom routine look like? Comment below. And for more sleep advice beyond the bedroom routine, get in touch!
